Yesterday I was held up in the office a little longer than I like. Getting a little stir crazy and needing to run some errands I decided to go for a walk with my partner, Gracie, before getting in the car. Gracie is always up for a little walk and needed to get out herself having just tossed our leftover hamburgers in grease, thus rendering them useless. So off we went.
We found our shoes, put on the proper walking attire, waved good bye to the family and were off. As we left the circle and knowing who the boss is I asked Gracie which direction to head; she gave the direction and off we went.
When it comes to holding hands I am pretty hands off. My strategy is normally to hang close to the children so that if something happens I can simply grab them. Gracie likes my way of thinking and normally will knock your hand away if you even try to hold hers.
Tonight, tonight something was different; maybe she needed some extra love. Just as we turned the corner she reached over and grabbed my hand, it was her idea. She held it and we began to walk. The longer we walked holding hands the more emotional I became.
As I walked down the road I thought of this now eight-year-old girl with special needs holding my hand. No one in life has changed my view on God, myself, my family, the way I live and even the way I minister than her. Few have challenged my patience more or melted my heart as often.
Even this day we had experienced our ups and downs. From laughter while she spoke to family members on the phone to arguing over the all-important way she washes her hair.
As we walked I reflected on who I was to her; her father, her protector, her friend. I grieved for a moment over the fact I often do not know exactly what her mind is thinking and how I wish I did. I paused to be thankful she was holding my hand. I watched the shadows of the two of us as we turned the corners, grateful for the gift of the moment and I thought of my Heavenly Father.
My mind raced to how good it felt that she was letting me hold her hand. How I wished we walked more often and spent quite time together. For a few moments I did not think of our financial condition, church or what job was on the agenda the next day. It was sweet peace and I thought of my Heavenly Father.
In the quit moments I thought of how I know God would like for me to slow down, spend time with him and allow him to give me peace. I thought of how He desires sweet fellowship with me and how I often rush through it as if it were a task instead of a privilege.
I pondered how God would want me to instead of walking in front of him pointing the way to step aside long enough to allow Him to point me in the right direction.
More than anything I tried not to outthink the moment knowing it would come to an end way too soon. I knew exactly how it would end and where.
Just as she always does on our walks when we got to the furthest point away from the house she would tire. She did as she always does when she is tired. She turned without saying a word, lifted her hands up to her father and waited for me to pick her up.
I did as I always do, laugh for a moment, then pick up my 80-pound girl and carry her home. This time I thought of my Heavenly Father; how He knows just how things will end too. Just when I am at the end of the rope I will grow weary of doing it on my own, I will turn to Him and lift up my arms and there He will be.
I thought of how I will carry this girl until she stops reaching her arms up to me; I was reminded of my Heavenly Father, I was grateful.
Scripture: 3 John 1:4, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”
Prayer: Dear Lord, how sweet it is to truly fellowship with you by reading your word, by worshiping you and by spending quite moments with you. Guide us to make our time with you a priority as we deal with our daily lives. We ask these things in the name of Christ, Amen.